Secret One

One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.

A classic holiday example of this is eating foods that we know make us feel yucky the next day. We say, "A little bit won't hurt..." Even knowing we won't stop with a little bit and knowing that a little bit will hurt, we plough right in and gobble the stuff down.

The next day we feel horrible and ashamed we have done it again. We vow to change.

Wednesday night you have another party invitation, this one to your best friend's house, and you say, "A little bit won't hurt..."

If you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting.

Here is the first strategy:

If something does not work for you, do something different.

This seems obvious, because it is. Nevertheless, we humans don't do it. We are creatures of habit.

You may have to apply some muscle to change the habit.

People stay with what doesn't work because they are certain that it should work. Maybe someone said it should work. So, we keep at it futilely hoping it will finally work. Persistence is a great thing. So is discernment.

The Kenny Rogers song about the card playing gambler sums it up something like this:

Ya got to know when to hold them, and ya got to know when to fold them.

When I do computer programming for my web site, and it doesn't work, I can get really stuck in doing the same thing over and over again.

Because I figured it out, thought it through, I am convinced it should work. I will stick with it for quite a long time before I try something different.

The wise words of an old engineering mentor come to me: It is always the thing you sure is working perfectly that's causing the problem. That wisdom is a corollary to try something different.

If you are client of mine, you'll be glad to know this doesn't happen with bodywork, because when I do bodywork or coaching I am not on my own. Your body's wisdom guides me. So, do you. HTML programming language doesn't talk to me. This is a clue. Read on to see how this works.

The faster I can let go of something that is not working, the wiser I am.

How Do I Make It Different?

What can you do that's different? How do you change and what?

The first step is obvious. You have to look at your life. This can feel like heavy lifting, but it's good for you and there is no shortcut.

For fun, let's look at your holidays. What doesn't work for you? What hasn't worked for you each time you have tried it?

Here's an example from my life:

I like people. I kept thinking going to parties would be a good way to see friends. Every time I went to a party, I felt drained and frustrated.

Parties don't' work for me.

What could I do differently?

Here's a tip on why coaching is so useful, and the answer to the bodywork clue above. Ask someone else for suggestions. Brainstorm. You are too close to the problem to see the possibilities.

Have fun with a friend. I suggest you come up with a list of ten options as an exercise. Be wild, be creative, be silly.

I'll get you started:

1. Quit going to parties.

2. Timmy Patterson, a friend, gave me this one. Call your friend and ask to come early and help set up. Leave before it starts.

3. …

What about the Holidays Doesn't' Work for You?

Here are things clients have mentioned over the years to get you started thinking:

• Parties
• Shopping
• Commuting
• Staying up late
• Drinking or eating too much or the wrong things
• Seeing people you don't like
• Office parties
• Doing too many things
• Spending too much money
• Buying things just to buy them
• Losing touch with God, the Sacred, the Spirit of the Season

Next Secret ...

Would you like to conquer fear? See you next time.

Certainly Share Yourself...

You are encouraged to pass this secret along to friends. You probably already know who you will pass this on to, who would love to read this.

It's easy -

Step One - Forward the email or the web page to them! Be sure to share yourself by letting them know how you benefited. Speak from your heart. Include the link telling them where to subscribe => http://tinyurl.com/jgvwz.

Step Two - If they are the cautious type, let them know that an "unsubscribe" link comes with each email.

Step Three - Congratulate yourself for reaching out and sharing yourself. Yeah!

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