Do you want a short cut to living happy, courageous, and free, and a way to smooth out all of your relationships?

Alcoholics Anonymous, common wisdom, and Jesus advocate this marvelous wisdom. Alanon, which is a venerable organization for the families and friends of alcoholics, makes this advice its daily bread.

All of these folks advocate it because it has worked for millennia and it continues to work. Wouldn't it be amazing if it worked one more time to help you live happy, courageous, and free?

The technique is so simple you may be unwilling to use it. As a relapsed sinner, I have to come back to it over and over. It saves me every time I am smart enough to return to it. It will work for you, too.

What is it?

It is the ancient advice to Mind Your Own Business.

This phrasing always seems a bit rude to me, and triggers my defensiveness. So I prefer the phrase:

 Stay In Your Own Business

And an even softer version, "You'll be happier, if you stay in your own business."

You can figure out whether the gentle way or the hard way works best for yourself. Sometimes the 2 x 4 upside the head is just the ticket.

A Story

While on a road trip with my friend, Roger, back in my youth, we were trying to figure out what we were going to do that day. I said, "We could look at some sacred sites up north."

He asked, "Is there anything to do there?"

That was Roger revealing his Roger nature. Visiting sacred sites and feeling the energy of the place clearly did not qualify as something to do.

Staying in my own business, or minding my own business I would have just said, "Fish gots to swim, Roger's gots to do…" And let it go. I would have been happy and so would he.

Instead I chose to mind Roger's business. Clearly, he should want to do the things I want to do. And because he doesn't want to do just what I do, he's B A D.

I could have stayed grumpy at Roger for years, helping him with his business, helping him to see the errors of his ways. Helping him to be just like me and not like him.

Woof, what a bunch of wasted energy. It is futile to get fish to quit swimming and people to quit being themselves. It's also disrespectful.

Whenever we are minding other peoples business, we get into trouble, and it never leads to happiness.

Luckily, I wised up, stayed in my own business, and let Roger be Roger. Naturally, the rest of the trip was delightful.

The Three Businesses

These are the three businesses.

• My business
• Other people's business
• God's business, feel free to substitute a word for God that works better for you -- Nature, Universe, Beloved, Allah, Creator, Higher Power, Divine Wisdom, The Big Guy, Grandmother or Goddess.

There it is. Stay in your own business and you will be eternally happy.

The serenity prayer is a plea for help in staying in your own business. Twelve Step groups, such as AA, rely on this prayer.

Here it is:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change i.e. other peoples business and God's business.

The courage to change the things I can, i.e. my business

And the wisdom to know the difference. i.e. to know whose business I am in.

And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam [is] in thine own eye? - Jesus

We'll go into this and other useful things in my upcoming e-manual: How You Can Obliterate Fear, Worry, and Hopelessness, and Live Happy, Courageous and Free.

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Next

This next Secret tells a wonderful story that will further help you handle your fears and let you go for what you want - living wholeheartedly.

See you next time ...