What I Want For My Daughters

I have three standards I use to measure my success as a father. One of them is - does she know how to ask for help. And, is she effective at asking for help.

Asking for help is also one of the skills I want all my private clients to possess.

Men Don't Ask For Directions

Men don't ask for directions. Women don't ask for help.

Over a lifetime, small-minded teachers have punished you for asking for what you want. Friends, parents, lovers, and bosses have humiliated you for asking to have your needs met.

I suggest, you take a leap of faith, get over your inhibitions, and risk asking for help. You really have nothing to lose. You have a splendid life to gain.

You Can Get Help - Do You Know How?

Ask. It is simple. Make a clear request for what you want and ask.

Ask with heart.

Ask.

If S/He Really Loved Me, They Would Just Know.

Studies have shown and my own straw poles have indicated. THEY REALLY DO LOVE YOU, AND THEY DON'T KNOW.

"You never do thus and so for me," the spouse complains.

Want to know the most common response too this all too common complaint?

"Why didn't you just ask?"

"Why didn't you just ask?" Indeed!

Spouses are clueless. Parents are clueless. Children are clueless. Give them a clue and ask for what you want.

Play a Game with Asking

See how many requests you can make. Try to ask for everything. Ask for outrageous things that you are sure no one will give you. I am often surprised by the "yeses" I get when I ask for the moon. I bet you will be, too.

The other phenomenon you will experience when you ask enough, is that "no" is no big deal. "OK... next," you say, "What do I ask for next. Who do I ask next."

For me, this was shocking. As shocking as getting the moon. "No" was OK. It stopped meaning anything. It used to mean I was bad or not good enough. Now, "no" doesn't mean anything but, "no."

Ask again. Next.

Remember "The Room of 1000 Demons"?

One of the premises of the Room of 1000 Demons is that you cannot get any help. In this way, the story doesn't reflect the wise life.

You can ask people to walk with you. You do have to face all your fears yourself. You do have to take each and every step yourself, but you can get help and have company.

I tell my private clients:

"It is a paradox. You have to take each step on your own. Each step. But no-one every makes this journey without help."

How are my daughters and my private clients doing? You'll have to ask them.

Want A Couple Of Useful Questions To Prompt Yourself?

You can use these tow questions to prompt yourself. And if your are like me you will need to prompt yourself because not asking for help is so ingrained.

When I feel stuck I ask these questions:

If I had a fairy godmother or a genie in a lamp to ask for help, what help would I like? You do have a fairy godmother and a genie in the lamp. You just forget because they disguise themselves. Whom could I ask for help?

This implies that you have a good list of people to call upon. I recommend you set up your list of both friends and professionals who can be your supporters.

Now That You Have Completed the Eight Secrets

Congratulations, if you have followed the steps to improve your life. Keep walking on this path and your life will blossom.

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